Brothers in Arms
by IckleSickle
Summary: Definite twisted AU. Contains SLASH VIOLENCE INCEST etc. Note that this is AU, so things don't necessarily go like they do in the books. PLOT: Remus gets a letter inviting him home for Christmas, which causes mixed feelings. Sirius doesn't want to let him face his demons alone.


A/N: This is AU. Remus has a brother, Sirius hasn't run away from home yet, the boys are already animagi.

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Sirius tried to look nonchalant while glancing at Remus constantly. The pale boy was grasping a letter in one delicate hand and poking his fork in his breakfast with the other. Eyebrows drawn together and lips pursed he looked concerned and contemplative.

"Who's it from?" asked Peter while shoving bacon in his mouth.

"My mom", Remus muttered, re-reading the short letter. "She says I have to go home for Christmas. My brother's coming."

"And you're upset because...?" James inquired, eyebrows raised. Remus finally put the paper down and smiled a little.

"I'm not upset, just surprised. I haven't seen him in more than a year, and he kinda announced something when he left that made it apparent he wasn't coming back."

"So you're going?" Sirius pouted as his heart sank. "You're gonna leave me here alone? All alone for Christmas?"

"Oh shit, Siri, I forgot. I really don't have a choice though", Remus wrung is hands while he spoke. "Mom was pretty adamant. You sure you couldn't go to James'?"

"You haven't met my Aunt Celeste", James grinched. "Anyone who can avoid her must do so."

"Couldn't Pads come to your place?" Peter suggested with a mouth full of food.

"I don't think he'd want to..." the werewolf mumbled, pale pink staining his cheeks and eyes downcast.

"Why not?" the blond animagus continued, oblivious to his friend's discomfort.

"It wouldn't exactly be what he's used to", the honeyhaired boy stabbed his food with the fork, gritting his teeth. Sirius and James glanced at each other nervously.

"Why not?" Peter asked again, concentrating more on eating than his surroundings which included murderous looks from his blackhaired friends.

"Because we're fucking poor!" the werewolf hissed as he threw down his fork, slid off the bench and stomped off while many Gryffindors watched, surprised, since they weren't used to seeing the mild-mannered boy in such a state.

"What did I do?" Peter mumbled around a mouthfull of food, on which he almost choked on as James smacked him on the back of his head, hard.

"I'm going to go see if he's alright", Sirius said, got up, and walked out of the Hall, feeling the same eyes on him as Remus did moments ago, secretly enjoying it.

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Sirius knocked on the door of their dormitory and entered a moment later when there was no answer. Remus sat on the edge of his four poster, looking ashamed. The blackhaired youth sat next to him but stayed quiet, which was hard since he really liked the sound of his own voice.

"I didn't need to snap at him like that", Remus finally sighed.

"Oh yes you did", Sirius said, yet again amazed how his friend could be so hard on himself. "In fact, I think you should have punched him or something."

"I assume that either you or Jim took care of that?" Remus said dryly, not really asking, just stating a fact. He closed his eyes for a moment and then stared at the ceiling, biting his lip.

"It's just... I sometimes have a hard time listening to you and James talking about what your childhoods were like, what toys you had, what broomsticks, holidays, clothes... Even now, you seem to forget that I don't have that kind of money, never had, probably never will."

"And you seem to be forgetting the fact that I'm miserable with my family", Sirius said in return.

"I still win", Remus smiled crookedly at this. "I'm poor _and _miserable with my family."

The blackhaired boy was quiet for a moment. His friend never really talked about his family, so he didn't know how much truth was behind that statement.

"Why are you miserable? I don't mean to pry, I just... You never talk about your family."

Remus stared at him for a moment, as if contemplating whether he should open his mouth or not. Finally he did.

"My dad's a drunk. Has been since I was bitten. Mom's bipolar. It means you never know if she's gonna be happy or depressed when you meet her. She takes these muggle medications that usually make her pretty much out of it. Which might be a blessing since dad takes a lot of his anger out on her."

"You mean... He beats her?" Sirius asked, his throat tightening.

"He sometimes beats me too", Remus said, looking calm and collected.

"Did he beat your brother too? Is that why he left?" the animagus asked, wanting to change the subject, although he knew he'd have to face it again later.

"Oh no!" the werewolf laughed humourlessly. "He beats me because I'm a _freak. _Even though he'salmost a squib, Romulus is his golden boy. Or was. But well, when he told dad he was, well, _queer_, he threw him out. And I haven't seen him since. I really don't know how mom has gotten him permission to enter the house again. So a nice family Christmas is to be expected."

"I'm not letting you go alone", Sirius said, rage bubbling inside of him. He wasn't going to let this slide.

"You do realize it's going to be horrible? You do realize there's a Full during Christmas, and you're not going to be able to do anything?" Remus stated, surprising Sirius by not putting up a fight.

"I get it", he simply replied, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. Remus looked at him, his eyes unreadable, face blank.

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They stood in front a small suburban house somewhere in London. They'd travelled by muggle transportation from the train station so Sirius had no idea where they were. The house was in bad shape, almost dilapidated, as were the neighboring houses. Loud music could be heard from next door, and sirens somewhere near.

"Home sweet home", Remus said sarcastically. They walked through the frozen, dead garden and rose to the porch when the front door banged open, nearly giving Sirius a heart attack.

"Remus!" a young man yelled and grabbed the werewolf, lifting him off his legs and squeezing hard before putting him down.

"Hi Rom", the werewolf said, smiling timidly. Sirius could've sworn there were tears in his eyes.

Whatever the blackhaired boy had expected, it wasn't this. He had had this image in his head about Remus' brother, thinking he was an effeminate version of his friend, slim and, well, kind of fruity. But the man in front of him was about a head and a half taller than either one of them, had tousled honey brown hair to match his brother's, broad shoulders, toned arms, slightly tan skin so different from Remus' pale complexion and a wide smile and sparkling dark brown eyes in a handsome face. He was wearing a black t-shirt and tight dark blue jeans, nothing flashy, but nicely showing off his fit body. He was a healthy looking, older version of Remus.

"Hi, I'm Romulus, Remus' older brother", the man said, smiling happily and shoving a hand towards the animagus.

"I can see that", Sirius said dumbly, felt his face heat up and grasped the warm hand with his own cold one. He was praying that his blushing was covered by the pink brought on by the cold weather.

Romulus just chuckled kindly and leaned against the wall next to door. He apparently wasn't affected by the cold too much, though Sirius was fighting hard not to check out if his nipples were showing through the thin shirt.

"How's mom?" Remus asked after a moment of silence.

"Pretty much out of it. Which is pretty good, since dad gave her a shiner this morning", Romulus said, his smile wavering. Sirius felt his stomach constrict.

"How drunk is he?" was the younger brother's next question.

"Happy drunk the last I checked. Might even be nice to you. And he's probably gonna like that you've brought a pureblood home" Romulus said, smile now completely gone. "Should we go face the music?"

With a sigh and a nod from Remus they entered the house. Sirius' nose wrinkled with the bad smell that eminated from several garbage bags in the hall. They took off their traveling clothes as the older boy waited, and then entered the room to the left, which was the kitchen. There were liqour bottles on every counter and dirty dishes in the sink and the table. There was a woman sitting at the table, and the first thing Sirius thought was that she had been beautiful in her day. Her hair was a nice chocolate brown but was unkempt, her features were delicate but the purple, swollen eye distracted from them. Weirdly enough she had an immaculate flower print dress on.

"Hi mom", Remus said happily, his voice in no way fitting to the circumstances. The woman raised her head, looked at Remus with her one good eye and smiled warmly.

"Sweetheart", she said and rose to hug her younger son. She didn't seem to notice anything else in the room until Remus gently loosened himself from her grip and gestured to Sirius.

"Mom, this is my friend Sirius from school. He's going to stay here for the holidays."

"Hello Sirius", she said, smiling and stepping closer. She raised her delicate hand, so much like Remus', and stroked Sirius' hair. "You have a good soul."

With that she walked out of the room. Her footsteps could be heard going up the stairs somewhere nearby.

The werewolf didn't say anything, just blinked rapidly like he had something in his eyes. Then he turned and went back to the hall with the others following, and continued further into the house. They entered a room that housed a livingroom set and a tv. It wasn't in as bad shape as one could expect, there wasn't really much garbage expect for beer cans and a couple of bottles. The man sitting in one of the two armchairs looked worn down and untidy though.

Again Sirius had had the wrong image in his mind. He had pictured this man as a towering brute, stocky and stern looking. This thing in front of him just looked sad. What made him even sadder was how he looked a lot like Remus. He had the same haircolour though his lay limp against his head, he had the same mouth and large, somber eyes, though his were brown, not amber like Remus'. He hadn't shaved in a while and his clothes, an argyle jumper and grey trousers were worn, wrinkly and stained.

Suddenly the brown eyes were fixed on them and and Sirius could see contempt when they landed on Remus. They all froze as the man was suddenly on his feet and grasping his wand.

"Apparently we're not happy drunk anymore", Remus muttered and yelped in the next second, grasping his forehead. Sirius gaped as he saw blood drip from between the slim fingers. In an instant Romulus had his brother behind his back and Sirius reached for his wand.

"Don't bother", the older brother said. "Just get Remus upstairs."

Sirius grabbed his friend who still had his hands on his face, trying not to get blood in his eyes. He pushed the boy infront of him and told him when the stairs started, and they slowly made they're way up. They heard Remus' father scream downstairs.

"ROMULUS, GET OUT OF MY WAY! REMUS YOU LITTLE SHIT GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!"

They got up and Remus told Sirius which room was the bathroom. He had just gotten the bloodied boy to sit on the toilet seat when they heard someone running up the stairs. For a second the blackhaired youth was sure it was Mr. Lupin, but then Romulus ran in, shut the door and locked it.

"Just to be sure", he panted. "I don't think his coming up. Now let me see that cut."

Remus lifted his hands. Half of his face was slick with blood and he was squeezing his eyes shut. Romulus sighed and started going though the medical cabinet.

"Can't we just heal it with magic?" Sirius asked. Romulus glanced at him, his face unreadable.

"You can't use your wand or you'll get in trouble. I on the other hand am pretty much useless with magic. Believe me, this is easier. I've done it plenty of times before."

Then he turned around with a needle and some thread in his hands. Sirius cringed as he fed the thread through the needle and crouched in front of his brother.

"You ready?" he simply asked and Remus nodded. The animagus' stomach turned as Romulus pushed the needle through the edge of the cut and pulled the thread through. He felt nauseous but couldn't look away. What made things worse was that the older boy hadn't been kidding. Both him and Remus were completely calm and the job was done quickly though the cut wasn't very small at all.

"Give me some wet cotton and disinfectant" Romulus asked Sirius, who was quick to act. The older brother gently wiped the blood from the younger one's face and then dapped some disinfectant on the cut. Then he kissed Remus gently on the top of his head which made the younger boy smile. Sirius just sat on the edge of the tub, trying to process everything that had happened in the past ten minutes, failing miserably.

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"You're family is pretty fucked up", Sirius said as they lay in Remus' bed late that night. Romulus had somehow managed to widen the bed, though first he had turned it into a pig and then a small bouncy castle. Sirius was very happy that the werewolf's brother didn't get offended easily, as the blackhaired boy had been totally unable to stop laughing when the pig had bitten the older boy in the shin.

"I told you so."

"Yeah but, I mean, really fucked up", Sirius insisted.

"I know. You don't have to remind me. I know this is fucking awful, and the worst part is, it's my fault", the honeyhaired boy muttered into his pillow.

Sirius turned to his friend and squinted his eyes so he could see him in the shadows of the room. Remus' face was pained and eyes tightly shut.

"It's not your fault", Sirius whispered, wanting nothing more than to comfort his friend. "It's not your fault you got bitten. It's not your fault your father started drinking, or that your mother's ill. It's not your fault your brother's gay."

Remus whimpered at that and tears escaped his eyes. Sirius couldn't stop himself and with only little resistance he managed to pull his friend against his chest. The werewolf didn't cry aloud, but he hung to the animagus' t-shirt and his tears wet the fabric.

They didn't talk, just lay there, and slowly fell asleep.

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"You fucking faggot."

It took a moment for Sirius to realize the words were directed to Remus. He forced his eyes open and saw Remus' terrified face for a second before his father yanked him off the bed by his hair. In an instant the slim boy was slammed against the wall and had a hand squeezing his throat. Before he could react, Sirius was yet again staring at a wand. The moment seemed to go on for ever, the only noise being Remus' choking and his father's angry panting.

"Please don't kill him", came a small voice from the doorway. Remus' mother was standing there in a worn pink nightgown with Romulus, glad only in pyjamabottoms, standing behind her, his hand on her shoulder. "Please don't. He's my baby."

For a moment it seemed Mr. Lupin wasn't going to listen. Then he slowly loosened his grip and let his son drop to the floor. Remus coughed and gagged on all fours. Mrs. Lupin just stood there for a moment with a blank look on her face before Romulus gently moved her aside and went to help Remus up, who was still struggling for breath. The older boy held his younger brother against his bare broad chest, steadily staring his father down. Mr. Lupin spat on the floor and walked out with a sour look on his face. Romulus closed his eyes and breathed deeply, squeezing Remus closer, which was good since it seemed that the younger boy couldn't stay upright without him. After a moment Sirius didn't feel like his heart was going to stop anymore, and Romulus sat his brother on the edge of the bed, crouching down, looking him in the eye.

"What do you say we go Christmas shopping?" he said in a soft voice.

"You know I don't have any money", Remus croaked, like that was the most horrible thing that had happened this morning. Sirius was at loss for words. In fact, he felt like he'd never speak again.

"I'll borrow you some", Romulus persisted.

"I could never pay you back."

"Fine, I'll _give_ you some."

Remus snorted softly and nodded.

"Fine, let's go Christmas shopping. If Sirius is up for it. You know, Siri, we can just drop you off at your place if you want", Remus said, directing his last words to his friend. Sirius just shook his head.

He would never let Remus face his father alone again.

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The day had been pretty fun if one forgot the episode in the morning. They'd travelled to central London and Sirius had insisted they shop in muggle shops for a while before going to Diagon Alley. He gave Romulus money in exchange for muggle bills, and bought a leather jacket ("What leather is this if they don't know about dragons?" "Probably pig or cow." "That. Is. So. Weird."), some vinyls ("Sirius, you can't even play those anywhere." "Yeah but they're like a status symbol." "...okay...") and a feather boa ("Sirius what the fuck?" "I'll give it to Prongs for Christmas!").

At Diagon Alley they visited Gringotts and then split up for a while so they could buy gifts for each other, and then met up to continue shopping together. Remus was happy since for once he could buy more expensive gifts for his friends (it seemed that Remus' brother had no shortage of money). When they'd had enough of stores the younger boys suggested that they head for Leaky Cauldron and some butter beer. Romulus had smiled slyly and told them he knew a better place, and started walking in the opposite direction.

It didn't take long before the younger boys realized they were heading for Knockturn Alley. They glanced at each other, nervous, but followed Remus' brother without saying a word. Finally, they arrived at a tavern called Pixie Hut and entered.

It was gloomy inside, with heavy, moth eaten drapes blocking most of the sunlight, and grim looking clientele. Romulus however seemed cheery, and ushered them to a table near the door. It didn't take long for a heavily made up barmaid in a skimpy outfit made her way to their table.

"Hi Romulus", she said in a sing-song voice which certainly didn't go with the surroundings. "What would it be?"

"Hi Ruby. Three Firewhiskeys", Romulus said, grinning widely. The barmaid smirked.

"Are you _sure_ your friends here aren't underage?" she laughed, but turned to get their drinks without waiting for an answer. When she came back she finally took a closer glance at Sirius and Remus. Her eyes went wide and she gasped.

"Is that the _baby brother_ you're always talking about? He's _adorable_!" she squeeled.

"Oh yes he is, isn't he?" Romulus said, mimicking baby talk and grabbing Remus by his chin. "You are so _cute, _I could just eat you up!"

At that he gave his brother a big kiss on the mouth which made Sirius sputter into his drink and Remus wipe his mouth. The barmaid, Ruby, just laughed and whispered something into Romulus' ear, making the older boy smirk and blush a little. He then shook his head which made Ruby pout and shrug her shoulders before she went off to serve other clients.

"What did she say?" Sirius asked.

"She asked if Remus was straight and available", Romulus said nonchalantly which made Remus choke and Sirius laugh. Then it hit him.

"You shook your head", he said. Romulus patted his brother's back to help him breath again and glanced at Sirius.

"So?"

"Meaning to say, Remus is either not straight or not available. Remus?"

"I, I, I like girls! And I'm available!" Remus stuttered and blushed.

"Oh?" Romulus said with raised eyebrows. "You want me to get her back here?"

"No!" Remus said, blushing deeper and taking a large swig out of his drink.

Romulus chuckled and ruffled his brother's hair. They went quiet for a while before the older boy spoke, staring into his drink.

"I was thinking", he said. "It might be better if Remus slept with me for the remaining nights. Not to piss off dad, you know."

Remus stared at him for a long moment.

"Well... tonight's you know what, and then there's just one night", the werewolf muttered so that no-one could hear.

"You'll sleep with me, okay? I'm not taking any chances."

"I think it's for the best, Remus", Sirius said. "I don't want to repeat today's horror show."

The werewolf just nodded and drank the rest of his whiskey in silence.

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After they'd gotten back to Remus' home his father had greeted him by backhanding him and yelling at him for getting home so late on a Full Moon night. With that he'd grabbed his son and forced him down to the basement and locked him there with complicated spells. Romulus had told Sirius to go to Remus' room and stay there while he went to pick up groceries.

After a couple of hours the older boy entered the room where Sirius was simply lying on the bed, counting minutes to moonrise.

"Sorry I took so long. I had to make my parents something to eat. I don't think either of us wants to eat with them, so I brought some sandwiches", he said, putting down a plate on the nightstand and sat down. Sirius swung his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed one. Just as he was about to take a bite a shriek pierced the air and made him freeze.

"Your father didn't use Silencing?" he choked out.

"No", Romulus said, his voice strained. "I think he kinda likes to hear him scream."

"But, what about the neighbours?"

"Haven't complained so far", the older boy sighed and rubbed his face as the screams got even louder. He pushed himself farther on the bed, against the wall, and drew his knees up against his chest.

Sirius put down the bread and went to sit next to Romulus. The screams were agonizing and he felt like his heart was breaking. He wondered how it must've felt for Romulus to grow up here, hearing his baby brother suffer like this every month. It had been hard enough on himself to see Remus change, and that had been with the Marauders around to help him. Now that he heard Remus screaming his lungs out in pain Sirius felt his chest constrict with panic and helplessness.

It took a moment for Sirius to realize Romulus was crying. His quiet sobs were drowned by Remus' screams but tears were staining his face. Awkwardly the animagus slid his arm around the older boy and stroked his shoulder. Sirius stared at the boy's face and realized he wasn't only sobbing, but forming words. Sirius leaned closer and swallowed as he heard what Romulus was saying, over and over again, with desperation in his eyes.

"Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? ..."

The night seemed to go on forever.

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"You have to let him out!" Romulus yelled at his father for the umpteenth time at about five o'clock in the afternoon the next day. Mr. Lupin just took a swig from his bottle and stared at his older son with glazed eyes.

"That little freak stays there as long as I want him to. He's dangerous", he slurred.

"He isn't dangerous! He's hurt! You're going to kill him! Do you want Dumbledore on your case?!"

Sirius wrung his hands nervously as he gazed at the scene from the hall. Mr. Lupin stood up, looking like he was about to punch his son. Then he staggered past him, past Sirius, and started poking at the door leading to he basement with his wand and muttering counter spells. Finally the door clicked open and Romulus pushed past him. After a moment he climbed up the stairs, cradling the pale, battered body of his brother against his chest, and headed straight upstairs, followed by Sirius.

They entered Romulus' room, which was barren except for a wide bed, a beat-up dresser and a nightstand. The older boy lay Remus down on the bed and grabbed a first-aid kit from under the bed. He pulled out several potions, some herbs and bandages. With quick, confident motions he dabbed potions to the more serious wounds and then pressed herbs to the minor ones. He bandaged everything up and covered Remus with his quilt before gently shaking the smaller boy. The werewolf whimpered and curled into ball.

"Remus, sweetheart, it's me, it's Rom, you'll be okay. You have to wake up for a moment and drink this potion."

Slowly Remus uncurled and pushed himself up on his elbows. Without even opening his eyes he drank the liquid that was poured into his mouth. Then he slumped back down on the bed seemed to instantly fall asleep. Romulus sighed and stroked the side of his brother's face, then climbed over him and sat on the other side of the bed.

"As you probably know, he's gonna sleep for some time. I'll stay with him, you can go to his room and, well, whatever. See you tomorrow."

Sirius nodded and exited the room. In Remus' room he took off his jeans and climbed into bed. He was so exhausted from listening to the werewolf's screams all night that he fell asleep almost immediately.

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When the animagus woke up it took a while for him to realize where he was. It was pitch black in the room, and he had to feel for the nightlamp before clicking it on. The alarm clock on the table told him it was half past one in the morning. He lay back down, thinking he should just go back to sleep, but then he heard a soft voice. When he recognized it as Remus he smiled and got up. He rummaged through his bag which was nearby and pulled out a big chocolate bar, Remus' favourite kind. He had bought it on their shopping trip. He was pretty sure his friend would be more than happy about a post Moon snack.

He opened the door as quietly as he could and tip-toed to Romulus' door. He was just about to open it when a sound stopped him on his tracks.

Remus was moaning.

"Rom, I'm too tired... Please, not now..." came a murmur from the other side of the door. Sirius' heart raced as he slowly got on his knees to look through the keyhole. He had to stiffle a gasp when he saw them.

In the flickering light of candles he saw Remus laying on his back, naked and squirming under his equally naked brother. Romulus' defined muscles shifted under his tan skin as he held Remus' hands above his head and pressed himself against the smaller body. He leaned down to kiss him on the mouth before pulling up to speak.

"We only have this night. I've waited for this. It's been over a year, please don't take this away from me", he spoke softly and ernestly. Sirius felt his stomach drop as he realized this wasn't the first time the brothers were doing this.

"I'm too sore from the Moon, please..." Remus moaned again as Romulus leaned down to suck on his neck. The older brother let go of him and pushed himself up on his hands so that he was gazing down at his lighter and slighter brother.

"I'll be gentle", Romulus promised, leaning down to kiss him on the nose this time. Remus weakly placed his hands on the broad shoulders, as if to push his brother away. Romulus huffed gently and grasped the hands again, pushing them back above the younger boy's head.

"I'll tie you down if I have to. Do I have to? Would you like me to, like back in the old days?" he asked playfully. Sirius was fighting the tingling that was in his lower stomach, going lower still.

"You don't have to", Remus sighed softly and closed his eyes as Romulus let go of him and slid down his body, placing lingering kisses on his path. When he got down to his brother's half-erection he nuzzled it before sucking it into his mouth. Sirius felt a definate twitch in his pants.

After what seemed like ages of wet suckling sounds the older brother changed positions. He leaned up to grab a tube from the nightstand and squeeze some gel onto his fingers before sliding back down to between Remus' legs. This time he hooked his arms under the slim, pale legs and lifted them on his shoulders before taking his brother back into his mouth and pushing his slicked fingers between the firm cheeks. Sirius whimpered but it was covered by Remus' moan. A voice inside the blackhaired youth told him to return to Remus' room. Another told him to stop what was happening. A third told him to join them...

The stretching started off slow and gentle, but quickly became more insistent and impatient. Finally Romulus let go of his brother's cock with a soft pop and pulled his hand away. He pulled his little brother's legs more firmly on his shoulders and got properly on his knees. Sirius could now see his erection properly for the first time and the sight of the perfect, hard pink cock made his mouth water though he didn't want to admit it to himself.

The older boy grabbed a small shiny package and tore it open, taking out a transparent round thing. He pulled over his erection as Remus pushed himself up, confused.

"You never used a condom before", the younger boy said.

"It's just tidier this way", the older boy said and lifted Remus with one hand as he grasped himself with the other, slowly pushing forward.

Remus was whimpering and so was Sirius. Romulus groaned and pulled back, immediately pushing back in. He slowly moved back and forth, stroking Remus' thighs at the same time. The younger brother bit is own wrist to stay quiet, and Sirius followed suit.

'This is wrong', Sirius thought. 'This is wrong on so many levels. I have to get away.'

The animagus forced himself to tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him and get up. He hurried back to the werewolf's bedroom, clicked the light off and climbed into bed, keeping his hands firmly on the covers.

After about ten minutes the door swung open quietly. Sirius pushed himself on his elbows and switched on the nightlamp. Remus looked a bit startled. He was wearing only a pair of white pants and Sirius tried not to think where he had just seen that body.

"I just came to get some pain relief potion", the honeyhaired boy told him.

"So he did hurt you even though he said he wouldn't", Sirius said before he could stop himself.

"What?" Remus asked with panic on his features.

"You heard me. And I heard you."

"Oh god", Remus said and sank to the floor, covering his mouth with trembling hands. "Please don't tell anyone."

Sirius stared at Remus, his tousled hair, his slender limbs, slightly muscled chest and his wide, begging eyes that were shining in the shadows of the room. When he saw the bite mark on the slim wrist he felt something twist inside of himself.

"There's one thing I don't get", he said slowly. "What's so horrible about me that you'd rather fuck your own brother?"

"Well, for one, I thought you were straight", Remus said in a small voice.

"Don't bullshit me, you knew I wasn't. You turned me down", Sirius spat.

"So you weren't as drunk as you made me believe..." the slighter boy muttered, shaking his head.

"No, I wasn't. I remember very well. I remember telling you how I felt and you shooting me down."

"If that's how you felt... If the only thing you felt for me was that you wanted to fuck me, I'm glad I turned you down. And if you felt that you were so ashamed of that you wanted me that you had to pretend you couldn't even remember it, I'm happy I turned you down", Remus said sadly.

Sirius got off the bed and crouched in front of his friend. He stroked the side of the pale face and let his hand slide to Remus' neck, rubbing it gently.

"It's not all I felt. It's not all I _feel_. And I won't tell anyone", he whispered, leaning close to kiss Remus on his forehead, where the cut from the other day was already almost invisible.

"Thank you", Remus sighed and closed his eyes in relief.

"I won't tell anyone, if you do what I want."

The honeyhaired werewolf opened his eyes again and stared at him, concerned.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well, I want you to have sex with me, for starters. Not sure about how we'll proceed."

Remus simply nodded.

"Good. Now get on the bed", Sirius said, standing up. Remus stared at him.

"You want me to have sex with you _now_?" he asked in disbelief. It was the blackhaired boy's turn to nod. Remus sighed and got up.

"Can I at least take the pain relief first?"

"Yes", Sirius replied, climbing on to the bed and laying down on his side. The other boy picked up a small bottle from his luggage and downed in one swig. Then he dropped the bottle back to his open suit case and climbed on to the bed, facing Sirius. The blackhaired animagus reached to touch him but Remus stopped him.

"Please let it take effect first", he begged. "I'm really sore."

"He looked like he was gentle with you", Sirius said, concerned.

"He was, just the Full, I – wait, you _saw_ us? How...?"

"Keyhole. I didn't watch all of it", Sirius said.

"How much?" Remus asked.

"Him starting to fuck you", Sirius said, feeling himself blush at his own bluntness. "Then I left."

"...you saw him fuck me and now you want the same?"

"Well, yeah. Is it taking effect yet, I wanna get started?" Sirius said, feeling his heart thump in his chest nervously. _This_ was so wrong.

"Yeah... go ahead..." Remus said, and closed his eyes as his friend leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was clumsy and awkward but felt oh-so-good. Sirius felt an insistent twitch in his pants. He reached to rub Remus' delicate neck again, sliding his hand down to his collarbone and inching closer to his nipple. The slim body shuddered against him and Sirius felt a jolt of happiness when it was the werewolf who deepened the kiss.

"I want you to touch me too", the blackhaired boy muttered into the kiss. In an instant the slender hands were on him, sliding under his t-shirt, up his stomach to his chest, teasing his nipples, then blunt nails scraping against his sides. Sirius moaned against the pillow and rubbed himself against Remus. He reveled in the feeling of Remus' bulge against his own, the hot breath he felt against his neck and the soft wavy hair that tickled the side of his face.

When he felt he was reaching his limit he pushed Remus on his back and pulled the werewolf's pants down in one fluid motion. Remus' cock was much like his brother's, pink, a good size and perfectly straight. Sirius ran a finger from base to top, swallowing as it twitched under his digit. He rid himself of his own pants not quite so smoothly and gingerly lay down between his friend's legs. He took a deep breath rolled his hips against the smaller body, aligning himself so that their erections rubbed against each other. Remus was biting his wrist again and pushing himself up against him. Nothing had ever felt so good but Sirius knew something better was to be expected.

He slowly slid a bit lower, hooking Remus' knees over his shoulders, mimicking what he had seen earlier. He licked his lips and swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. Remus looked beautiful underneath him, everything he had hoped for, and more.

"Do you have anything, you know...?" Sirius asked nervously, gesturing between them.

"I'm probably slick enough", Remus said, looking ashamed. Sirius felt a twitch in his cock though he was pretty sure it shouldn't have affected him in that way.

The animagus grasped himself and pushed forward, sliding and pushing until he felt wetness. He pushed more insistently and soon enough felt the muscle yield. Tightness and heat like he had never felt before surrounded is cock as he pushed deep and fast. Remus gave a muffled yelp against his wrist, and Sirius forced himself to pause.

"Did I hurt you?" he panted, and he felt guilt constrict his chest when Remus nodded with tears in his eyes. He took Remus' free hand in his own, careful not to move anymore, kissed it over and over again and apologized multiple times.

"It's okay, just be more careful", Remus whispered before biting down on his wrist once more.

Sirius nodded and let go of the hand, slowly pulling back and then pushing forward as gently as he could. Soon enough Remus pushed back against him, which gave Sirius more confidence to speed up. He reached down to grasp his friend's twitching erection which made the werewolf clench around him.

"I'm gonna cum", the animagus gasped, amazed how soon he felt that way, and had to shove his fist in his mouth not to scream when he came deep inside the quivering body underneath him. He slumped against his friend, panting and sweaty.

"Please roll over", Remus gasped after a moment. "You're quite a bit bigger than I am."

"Not at the moment, no", Sirius joked after climbing off of his friend. He gestured at Remus' erection and his own semi-flaccid cock when his friend just looked at him dumbly.

"Har har, very funny", the honeyhaired boy said. "Don't", he continued when Sirius reached his hand to touch the object of the joke.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, a bit offended.

"You just couldn't make me come. It's nothing personal, I'm just too tired", he explained, yawning wide as if to make a point. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his underpants, slipping them up his legs.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Rom is probably wondering where I am. Also, I don't want to know what dad would do if he found us in the same bed again."

With that he walked out the door and left Sirius to lay awake in the bed for what seemed like hours.

SBRLSBRLSBRLSBRLSBRL

The next day Sirius and Remus were packing as Romulus leaned on the doorframe, watching. When Remus went to take his suitcase downstairs, Romulus closed the door and faced Sirius with a stern look on his face.

"I'm not an idiot", he said. "Take care of him. He needs someone to take care of him."

"If you think so, why did you leave him here alone? Why did you abandon him?" Sirius barked.

"I had to live my life. I had to experience something else, I couldn't just stay here until I died", Romulus said.

"You only had to wait a few more years", Sirius said, shaking his head.

"I don't have a few more years."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

The older boy sighed and hung his head so his fringe hid his face.

"The reason why our mother convinced our dad to let me stay over Christmas was that I'm not going to be around next year."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, with a sense of foreboding in the air.

"I'm sick. A 'gay disease', so to speak. So I'll just live fast and die young", Romulus told him casually, much in the way that Remus talked about horrible things. Sirius swallowed. They heard steps coming up the stairs and stared at each other.

"Does Remus know?" the younger boy asked.

"No. Don't tell him. Just take care of him", Romulus said and briefly squeezed Sirius' shoulder. Then he put on a smile that creeped the other boy out because it looked so genuinely carefree. Sirius turned to his suitcase just as Remus entered the room, shoving the last few things in and closing it.

"Okay, we're ready! I'll take you to the train station", the older of the two brother's said and walked out the room and downstairs.

"Let's get out of this hellhole", Remus said with a bright smile and followed his brother. In the hall the werewolf hugged his mother who was still wearing the same dress, now less immaculate, and after that they travelled to the station with the brothers chattering happily, Sirius staring out the window quietly.

"Take care of yourself", Romulus said when they got to the train and gently kissed Remus on top of the head. "And you, take care of him too!" he said seemingly jokingly to Sirius who forced a smile and a chuckle. Remus hugged his brother and started hauling his bag toward the train doors.

"What's the matter with you? You've been quiet since we left my place", Remus asked when they boarded the train. Romulus waved at them and then turned to leave. Sirius felt his throat constrict because he knew Remus had no idea he'd just seen his brother for the last time.

"I'm just tired, tired and relieved we're out of there", Sirius smiled. Remus nodded and patted him on the shoulder before they made their way through the corridors trying to find James and Peter.

Two weeks later Remus got the letter telling him his brother had been found in a motel room at Knockturn Alley, hanging from the rafters.


End file.
